It is crazy to think that one week from today my wife and I will be driving to Nashville to record my first profession album. The songs have been demoed, the musicians have been booked, and the studio is waiting. I am standing on the edge of a moment which has literally been years in the making, and I cannot believe it is about to take place.
This kind of thing might naturally open that all-too-familiar door of temptation: temptation to feel some sense of pride, to somehow think that I’ve made this happen, to make it all about me. But in this past year, as this dream has started to take shape, that temptation has really felt so foreign and alien to me. Truthfully, I feel like I have been in a constant state of exasperated shock. Questions have plagued my mind. Doubts have nagged at my heart. Feelings of discouragement have made me weak in the knees. Night after night, I have felt like I’m the last person on earth who should have this kind of opportunity.
But with this barrage of contradictions and emotions swirling inside of me, in the end, I keep landing on the same truth, a solid foundation that has never changed and helps me keep my footing: the simple fact that it’s not about me.
When you, my friends and family, came through in such a big way to fund a great majority of the album expenses, I didn’t take it as a boost of my pride or ego; I felt, and continue to feel, humbled and in awe that God would be so good.
When a member of my church family places gas money in my hand to help for gas on the road, I feel it again: the undeniable goodness of God.
When I sing a song about my brokenness and God’s grace to a small crowd at a coffee-house, I feel it all around me: the goodness of God.
His goodness, not my merit, is the reason I’m making this trip next week.
I wish I could fully express my gratitude for all that you have done, but I hope that the songs that I am recording, feeble as they are, will be of some recompense to all of you who have given so freely. This is not just “my” CD that I’m making. It is yours, too. And I cannot wait for you to hear it!
I will try to post pictures and videos throughout recording week, so be sure to keep up with me on Facebook and Twitter to see the progress!